Msgr. Jim you answered  a question of mine I'd like a little bit more 
information. What do I do? My parents may not agree with the Sunday 
obligation and may miss mass on purpose. They don't miss because they 
dislike it, in fact they haven't missed in a long time, partly because of 
my urging them to go. I love my parents a lot and I really really 
wouldn't want them to be living in mortal sin. In fact I'm not even sure 
if they completely know what mortal sin. They may or may not. But I 
don't want to give up on them. It may take more than a week to 
change their thinking, and within that time they'll receive communion , 
so isn't that sacrilegious? WHAT DO OR WHAT CAN I DO? I don't want 
them to receive the Lord sacrilegiously.

Fr. Brad, 
I’m 15 and I’ve been seriously thinking about entering the priesthood. And my question is what is the process in which someone becomes a priest. I basically have no knowledge on how long it takes, what I’ll do and what will happen between when I begin and when I finally become a priest. I’m still not entirely sure if this is what I want to do, but I can really find no other career that would be more rewarding and satisfying than serving the Lord. I’ve also wondered what the average age a man is when entering the process to become a priest. I was thinking that I may go to college and earn a psychology degree or some other kind of degree that would greatly benefit me in being a priest. Do you think that’s a good idea? I also want to thank you for your service to this site in answering people’s questions, I’m not ungrateful and I’m sure everyone else who’s used this site isn’t either. Thanks 

Msgr. Jim,

I don’t think that my parents completely understand the Sunday and holy day obligation rule. They have missed mass and have not confessed to that sin. They've missed more than once, but the thing is I don't think they fully understand the rule or the concept of mortal sin. I have told them about how missing mass could be a mortal sin and they kind of disagreed. Should they receive communion without going to confession?

Fr. Mike

Is it wrong or sinful at all to watch television shows about ghosts and/or demon hauntings?

Hello Father,

My husband and I have been discussing the importance of tithing.  However, he believes that you do not have to tithe money, and that there are other ways to tithe. My understanding is that tithing is with your income only, and all others are part of charity. Are the two the same (Tithing and Charity)? Can you tithe time over money, if you’re in debt? And lastly what is the right way to tithe?

Thank You,

 Dear Father,
My fiancé and I plan to get married next summer, but lately I've been worried.  We met about a year and a half ago and he asked me to marry him at 6 months.  It's a little fast, but at the time I was so happy it was the right decision.  I love him more than anyone, but we have some issues to deal with.  When we first started dating, he was a complete gentleman and always looked out for me, but now he's changed.  Sometimes I wonder if I'm really what he's looking for.  I know he watches pornography and he often tells me when he thinks other girls are attractive.  Because we are both in graduate school, we have to deal with a distance relationship at this point.  Over thanksgiving, he was still talking to his ex-girlfriend (who he had sex with before we were dating).  When I first told him that it upset me that he was talking to her when I came to visit him, he said he couldn't choose between her and me and that I was being ridiculous because he had asked me - not her to marry him.  He didn't want to lose one of his closest friends.  I tried to let it go, but then over Christmas he sent lots of gifts to his ex-girlfriend's kids and spent over $100 on shipping alone.  I told him it was a waste of money, but it was his money.  After arguing about it with him, he eventually gave in and said he didn't want to lose me, so he wouldn't talk to her anymore.  I don't want to control his life, but I feel hurt and sorry he may still have feelings for this woman.  I know it is a sin to feel jealous like this and I'm trying to stop it.  I feel like we should go to counseling before we get married and possibly delay the wedding another year because of this.  Please let me know what you think.  Thank you so much.

Dear Father,

Whenever I go out, I try to keep my eyes to myself and mind my own business.  Now today I was going out with friends to a restaurant, when this guy was staring at me.  I stared back.  I don’t know why.  Maybe I was expecting him to come up and say hi (I had a momentary crush on him).  But I hate it when I’m in public and this happens because I don’t know if I might be causing this person sin and stuff.  I feel really guilty and scared.  If I could go back I would change what I’ve done.  Rather, have I committed a mortal sin?  My thoughts were in no way lustful.  Even if he came up to me, I would have been cautious and made sure he wasn’t married or anything because I don’t want to be the cause of sin.  I already asked for God’s forgiveness and feel terrible.  Have I committed a mortal sin?

I am taking RCIA classes at my local parish and recently had a dream where Jesus put his hand on my forehead and authoritatively and clearly said, “You shall be called Julien Alejandra.”  Is it possible it really was him?  And is this okay to have for a confirmation name?

I am a scrupulous person who deals with the hardships of scrupulosity a lot.  I fear a lot about mortal sin.  I’d like to ask is it sinful or anything to put yourself into danger if you’ve committed a mortal sin?  I ask this because I am just learning to drive.  Many times I feel as though I’ve done mortal sin and fear driving in the snow in Michigan.  Can you offer any advice

Due to several C-sections and other operations, I was advised by my doctor to have a tubal (ligation) to prevent further pregnancies.  He said that there was a chance I would die if I had another C-section and was worried about my health.  I went ahead with this because I had been told that it was acceptable in the Church because of “medical reasons”  Now I have been told that it is a grave sin regardless of the circumstances.  My question to you is what do I need to do now.  A reversal is out of the question (too much removed for one).  Your advice is greatly appreciated.

Dear Father,

I have this friend who seems to have a huge crush on me. He lives far away and so he gives me long distance calls and sends me text messages and wants to visit my town sometime by airfare. I tried to make him stop because I don’t want him to waste money on me in case a future relationship with him doesn’t work. Father, I sometimes like him back and then sometimes I don’t. I don’t know what my true feelings are right now but I do want to maybe give this a chance. Father, am I sinning by accepting his calls and messages. Am I taking advantage of him (even though he kind of insists and says it’s no problem at all and even enjoys it)? Or is it okay to accept the calls and messages so I can get to know him more and eventually fall for him? I try my best to spend money on him as he does on me but I can’t spend as much because I don’t have that much.

Dear Father:

I am a Catholic and my wife is not, we argue over a family church, I have not been to church in a long time because of this fact. She does not want me to go to mass; she wants me to change my denomination to protestant. I choose to remain catholic. I do not know what to do in this situation because I want attend mass and not fight with my wife. Thanks.

I am not Catholic, but I kind of feel this question is kind of transcendent amongst denominations.  I am a Christian and my faith in Jesus as the Messiah will never change, but my view in the Trinity has.  I’ve found out recently that some verses relating to the Trinity were added by the Church and others, mistranslated.  Also, just reading the Book of Isaiah strengthens my view.  Another questions I have regard to Jesus’ lineage.  In the Bible it traces the lineage to David through Joseph, if he isn’t his real father how can he be in the line of David?  Seeing that lineage always deals with blood?

Dear Father,

In the bible, humans practiced magic on a regular basis, even priests.  Numbers 5:12-31, 2 Kings 2:23-24, Acts 13:6-12, etc.  So how can it be that it is “evil”?  Even Jesus raised the dead and performed miracles.  Or is it just the interpretation of the words miracle vs. magic?

Hello Father, My husband's good friend from college, just told us today that his son, who is 12 years-old, was just given a few months to live due to a sudden onset of cancer. Please help us to understand God's role in all of this. Do you really believe it is His will? I know we live in a physical world, that we have free will and that as humans, we can succumb to illness. But at 12?? This is harsh.  The boys father lost his fiancé to a car accident, his only brother killed himself and his father died as well. This poor guy is really struggling with faith at the moment. So are we. Please, please give us something to hold onto here. We believe in God, and love Him. But why???? Thank you for any insight. I don't mean to imply that we need a neat, tidy answer...we're just really upset. 

Sue

Dear Father, I was born and raised Jewish, however, I have always felt an affinity to Catholicism. Many of my friends growing up were Catholic.  I used to go to Temple every Jewish holiday growing up but understood nothing.  Most of the prayers were in Hebrew which I couldn't read, speak, or translate.  The service meant nothing to me. the result...I haven't been to a Jewish service for over 20 years with the exception of my wedding.  I went to mass several times with a friend and felt a certain peace and closeness with God.  I found on the internet a poem called Footsteps..about Jesus always walking by my side...it was fulfilling.  I honestly feel guilty about contemplating conversion so my friend suggested a Messianic Temple.  Is that an acceptable way to accept Christ?

I've been wondering for a while, is saying "oh my God", or "my God" or anything like that in surprise using God's name in vain? Is it using God's name in vain when your frustrated or angry?

Can two people that were married and then get a divorced, marry again in the eyes of the church?

Anonymous

I am a Roman Catholic and I believe in my faith and I do not want to convert and my children will stay in my religion.  Now my question is:  I want to get married in the Church with somebody with different religion (Sikh), is it possible? - by Beata

1.  “Is it wrong for me not to want kids?”  The short answer is NO, it is not wrong for you to not want kids.  Having read your story, with all of the things your are dealing with in your life right now, it makes total sense to me for you to not want to have kids.  It would not be responsible parenting to bring a child into that situation.  Continue to address your medical problems/mental health issues as best you can, AND IF in the future you feel you have recovered/dealt with those issues, THEN you could begin to talk with your husband about having children.

2.  “My question is even with all these problems are we obligated to have kids?”  Again the short answer is NO.  You are never obligated to have kids.  No one, no church, no family members, no society --- nothing obligates you to have any children.  Considering your history, your medical/mental health problems, it is a very prudent and responsible choice you and your husband are making – you are practicing Natural Family Planning, you are still trying to be develop your intimacy as best you can, AND you are being very responsible to NOT bring a child into the world in the midst of your problems.  GREAT, great, choice.

3.  “Can we be married and receive Communion if we go on using the natural child prevention methods the Church recommends indefinitely?”  The short answer is YES.  You are not committing any sin by not having any children, you are not going against any teachings of the Church, YES you should receive Communion as often as you go to Mass, to give you spiritual strength and courage to keep facing all of your difficulties.

4.  “Also is it wrong to tell family members we aren’t having kids due to medical reasons but not telling them what those medical reasons are?”  The short answer is NO.  You are not obligated to tell ANYONE about your medical/mental health conditions.  It is none of their business.  I would strongly urge you to be honest with those you go to for professional help with your medical/mental health issues:  doctors, counselors, etc.  But if you feel uncomfortable talking with anyone else about your conditions, then don’t, it is as simple as that.

Just one more thought from me:  I would strongly recommend that you continue working with the treatment center, practicing the cognitive methods that you learned before, and continue to seek professional counseling help whenever your situation allows.  That would be the best and most loving choice you can make for yourself, for your husband, and for your marriage.

I have a very important question. I and my partner had to make a project for class. We had to find  information on a city. On the day of our presentation I noticed that my partner printed some general information on a few attractions of the city and just glued it to our poster. I didn’t know what to do so I just presented but only reading my information I gathered. I think that what my partner did was plagiarism. I’m not sure but since I presented with him and most likely got a good grade on it did I commit any mortal sin? 

Anthony 

Dear father, I am currently studying astrophysics at university level and over the period of the last three years I have gradually lost faith in the idea of "god". Since beginning the course, I have been introduced to ideas such as the Big Bang and Multiverse Theory which both have a lot of scientific evidence supporting them. Unfortunately for myself, I am one of the many people that require evidence for a particular idea before I fully accept it, and the idea of a "one god" is one that I believe has been forced onto humanity in an attempt to influence the behavior of human beings. Although people say that the Bible is clinical proof of God and Jesus' existence, it was written by mortals and since there are no relics from that period, e.g. the Ark of the Covenant, around today to put all doubt aside, I am having trouble accepting the idea. What advice could you suggest to people like myself that want to accept the God is real? kyo

There is a movie I’d like to see rated A-III for adults by CNS or the Catholic News Service. The review written by CNS on the movie says it may be acceptable for older teens, I’m 15.  Violence does not bother me much except when it’s real, which in this case it’s a movie. That does make me wonder about whether I can see this movie or not with my dad is that it’s got scantily clad mutants. As weird and silly as it may sound I kind of wonder if those scantily clad mutants may pose a near occasion of sin for me. At times I can easily resist lustful thoughts, but sometimes not so much. Can you offer me some advice please?

This paper was written by my 16 year old daughter for her English class.  She attends a Catholic high school.  I believe she has been raised and surrounded by family members that are good Christian examples.  What can we do for her?  Please help me.

Dear Father, Is it a sin to marry a divorcee? He's done the annulment, but I am still questioning whether it's a sin to marry him. Thanks, Angela

Mrgr. Jim,

As Catholic Christians, we believe that the death penalty is an immoral choice in almost every case, right? And that it is acceptable to use lethal force in self defense to save lives, right? Then, what are we supposed to believe about the execution of Saddam Hussein? If he were imprisoned for life in the middle east, it seems there would always be the risk of an uprising or the wrong people coming to power and setting him free for him to kill more innocent people. Does this fit one of those rare cases where it is the right thing to put someone to death in order to save lives? 

Thanks,

Joe

Dear Father Mike,

The other day I was driving on the highway a little faster that I should have been. I thought I was doing about ten over but when I got pulled over the cop told me that I was doing a little more than that. I usually drive about ten over because I have heard that this is what the police allow and that is what my parents drive. My question is are traffic violations a sin and if so, at what point does it become immoral? I can see how blatantly running stop lights to show off or recklessly speeding would be sinful because you are risking lives. However, it seems like some things you could get pulled over for couldn't be immoral, either because they were accidental or because they just are not that big of a deal.

Thanks,

Steve

aka- Lead Foot

Dear Father,

I used to be a sex addict. I have by the grace of God stopped my addiction. However, I am engaged now and we (fiancé and me) do not do anything wrong physically, yet I am very attracted to him and often feel physical sensations of arousal just from thinking about him. And sometimes I think about when we are actually married and what our sex life will be like. I try not to, but sometimes I catch myself and then try to stop because I do not know if that is morally wrong or not. I do not want to be impure. Can you tell me is this normal to feel this sexual attraction to one's fiancé and how to handle it?